Roland Faunte - Cloth

Roland Faunte wrote his first song at age 11. Its message was simple: if you pretend to be a snake for long enough, you will eventually become a snake. Though, at the time, it was nothing more than a fascination with pythons, it ended up introducing a theme that would come to define his writing: reject fate; lay claim to your life.

At 19, he began experiencing the early symptoms of what would later be diagnosed as manic depressive disorder. It started with insomnia. He would stare out of his open window at 3 a.m., feeling kinship with the other rooms that still had a light on. Within a year, he found himself staring out of a window that didn’t open—from the psychiatric unit of the city hospital. The disorder consumed his life. He was certain he would spend the rest of his days in and out of mental hospitals, never functioning well enough to matter, never needed. This was fate.

After months of work with his psychiatrist, he stabilized and began trying to make sense of what had happened. This process led to his first album, Sewing Kit—recorded in his bedroom during the year following that first major episode. The album dealt heavily with themes of suicidal ideation and overwhelming hopelessness. It concludes, “Could you make it so no one cries?” asking if there was a way to pass on without bringing pain to others. The desire to leave was not yet questioned. This was fate.

Roland’s second album, Needle and Thread, serves as a midway point. There is hope, and there is doubt. In its 18-minute finale, Doin’ Well, Roland says thank you to his former self for sparing his life. Although fate seemed clear, life was chosen. Fate was rejected.

His third album, Cloth, brings us the second part of that 11-year-old’s wisdom: lay claim to your life. The cautious optimism of Needle and Thread is replaced with unapologetic idealism. The certainty of despair is replaced with the certainty that there is a way out for all of us. In Hellfire, Roland describes life after depression: “When you rise / You’ll be so tall / You’ll spread out your arms / And walk across mountains.” It reminds the listener that we do not fight despair simply to achieve a life we can tolerate but to forge a life we love.

The album concludes in homage to Sewing Kit: “And please, in all your power / Make it easy when I die / And if you have it there within you / Just be certain no one cries / But in the meantime / Fill me up…” Though life with this disorder is more difficult, at the end of the day, we fill our metaphorical prescriptions and seek to live with as much joy as we can. It was a diagnosis, not a death sentence. Reject fate; lay claim to your life.